Lost

I apparently got lost. I've gained back most of my weight. I'm bummed. But I did join the gym a month ago and am slowly putting things back on track.

why is it so hard? feck.

Another one bites the dust! Woot! I'm down 13 lbs all together. It's such a good start. I don't even feel like I've deprived myself of anything really. It's a good feeling to know my fat ass is shrinking.

One month down...

One month and 12 lbs down! It's been a great start for me. I've got good habits going, I am feeling better than I've felt in months!

Of Kleenex and willpower

How I managed to get sick after dodging the bullet for 3 months is beyond me. My kids have been sick, my niece and nephews have been sick, but I've been lucky. I planned a trip to stay with my older sister tomorrow to see her brand new baby...and what? Snot? Pouring from my right nostril. For two days. My poor right nostril is red and raw. I wonder what the right nostril did so wrong to be the one lucky enough for all this seepage to drain out of....blech. Trip cancelled.

Anyway, we were in a hurry tonight and the boys and the hubby decided they wanted to go to McFat, I mean McDonalds for dinner. So one of the boys came with me to go grab it. Now, let me explain something to you: McDonalds Coke is like crack to me. I crave their Coca-Cola. The extra large size. And the double cheeseburgers? Don't get me started. I once asked a Coke delivery guy at the convenient store that I worked at if he could make our Coke taste like McDonalds. He asked me if he looked like a miracle worker. Apparently McDonalds has some fancy schmancy soda set up. Anyway, I deviate. I did not order anything for myself!! Woot! I came home and ate a bowl of raisin bran and some toast! I am soooo proud of myself. It was a good day.

Yea!

I'm back on track. I'm out of the 90's! I want it to stay that way.

A connection?

I was right. I gained a lot of weight this week. I'm going to estimate 2-6 lbs. I've not been on the regular scale that I weigh in on, it's at my mom's house. I weighed in on the one here at work and it's notorious for adding 2 lbs. I'm mad at myself. Disappointed in myself also. But last week it was like I could not control my urge to eat. Then last night, after I had my sons in bed, I remembered I hadn't taken my Wellbutrin in days. I was feeling weepy and mad and remembered that during my hectic week I'd not taken my meds! I need drugs! So I wonder, since Wellbutrin is an appetite suppressant also, is it suppressing my neeeeed to eat everything in sight? Could there be a connection between these two things? I don't know. But, I'm vowing not to go off my meds and see how the monster dies down. Vile monster. Making me eat bad. Making me eat everything in sight. What a mess.

Ugh

Why is it so hard to go off track? I have had a pretty bad week and as usual, I'm full of excuses:

• Sunday is weigh-in day...that means I can cheat a lot after I weigh in right? (Ahem...no. But I do it anyway.)
• Wednesday I had a doctors appointment an hour or so away from home and well, since I didn't each lunch, that means I can just grab something fast and unhealthy right?
• Well, since I didn't do so good on Wednesday afternoon, I might as well go ahead and screw up Wed. night too.
• Thursday my sister was induced and we were at the hospital...so a soda was in order since we had to grab something quick, right? And we had to go eat at Fudruckers cause my bro-in-law suggested it, right?
• And Friday night on our way home, White Castle seems like a good idea, right?

Ugh. I can make up excuses with the best of 'em. When am I going to learn to stop?