Sunday, April 5, 2009


I apparently got lost. I've gained back most of my weight. I'm bummed. But I did join the gym a month ago and am slowly putting things back on track.

why is it so hard? feck.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Another one bites the dust! Woot! I'm down 13 lbs all together. It's such a good start. I don't even feel like I've deprived myself of anything really. It's a good feeling to know my fat ass is shrinking.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

One month down...

One month and 12 lbs down! It's been a great start for me. I've got good habits going, I am feeling better than I've felt in months!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Of Kleenex and willpower

How I managed to get sick after dodging the bullet for 3 months is beyond me. My kids have been sick, my niece and nephews have been sick, but I've been lucky. I planned a trip to stay with my older sister tomorrow to see her brand new baby...and what? Snot? Pouring from my right nostril. For two days. My poor right nostril is red and raw. I wonder what the right nostril did so wrong to be the one lucky enough for all this seepage to drain out of....blech. Trip cancelled.

Anyway, we were in a hurry tonight and the boys and the hubby decided they wanted to go to McFat, I mean McDonalds for dinner. So one of the boys came with me to go grab it. Now, let me explain something to you: McDonalds Coke is like crack to me. I crave their Coca-Cola. The extra large size. And the double cheeseburgers? Don't get me started. I once asked a Coke delivery guy at the convenient store that I worked at if he could make our Coke taste like McDonalds. He asked me if he looked like a miracle worker. Apparently McDonalds has some fancy schmancy soda set up. Anyway, I deviate. I did not order anything for myself!! Woot! I came home and ate a bowl of raisin bran and some toast! I am soooo proud of myself. It was a good day.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


I'm back on track. I'm out of the 90's! I want it to stay that way.

Monday, January 26, 2009

A connection?

I was right. I gained a lot of weight this week. I'm going to estimate 2-6 lbs. I've not been on the regular scale that I weigh in on, it's at my mom's house. I weighed in on the one here at work and it's notorious for adding 2 lbs. I'm mad at myself. Disappointed in myself also. But last week it was like I could not control my urge to eat. Then last night, after I had my sons in bed, I remembered I hadn't taken my Wellbutrin in days. I was feeling weepy and mad and remembered that during my hectic week I'd not taken my meds! I need drugs! So I wonder, since Wellbutrin is an appetite suppressant also, is it suppressing my neeeeed to eat everything in sight? Could there be a connection between these two things? I don't know. But, I'm vowing not to go off my meds and see how the monster dies down. Vile monster. Making me eat bad. Making me eat everything in sight. What a mess.

Saturday, January 24, 2009


Why is it so hard to go off track? I have had a pretty bad week and as usual, I'm full of excuses:

  • Sunday is weigh-in day...that means I can cheat a lot after I weigh in right? ( But I do it anyway.)
  • Wednesday I had a doctors appointment an hour or so away from home and well, since I didn't each lunch, that means I can just grab something fast and unhealthy right?
  • Well, since I didn't do so good on Wednesday afternoon, I might as well go ahead and screw up Wed. night too.
  • Thursday my sister was induced and we were at the a soda was in order since we had to grab something quick, right? And we had to go eat at Fudruckers cause my bro-in-law suggested it, right?
  • And Friday night on our way home, White Castle seems like a good idea, right?

Ugh. I can make up excuses with the best of 'em. When am I going to learn to stop?

Sunday, January 18, 2009


Thanks for the congrats you guys!

Ugh. I feel so gross. Since today was supposed to be weigh in day, I decided for it to be an "off" day. So I've not ate the best. Well for dinner I decided to make Mexican food. I am so regretting it. I have got to learn that there are better ways to reward myself than to gorge myself on crap. Blech.

What do you guys do for yourselves for small rewards?

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Right on!

I lost exactly 3 lbs this week! That means I'm down 9.8 lbs. I feel good. It's a small number but a huge accomplishment for me!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Oh,'re so funny.

My husband lost his job yesterday. They "eliminated" his job. You know what gets me? When you quit an employer you're expected to give 2 weeks of notice so they can find a replacement, but oh ho ho, when they need to get rid of you, you're given no notice. They wait til the end of the day when you're clocking out to say, "Oh yea, by the way, you don't have a job anymore, here's the paperwork on that and yea, good luck with that."


Anyway, things are going well on the weightloss front. I feel like I'm doing well this week. Sunday the scales will tell though!!

Hope everyone is having a great day!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Oh Cookie Monster. I feel the same way you do. I mean, cookies are now a "sometimes" treat? Blaspheme. I'm with ya buddy.

Today has been kind of a hard day. My kids have gone on some kind of vacation and there's these weird little devilish beings in their place. Weird. When they get like this I get all Cookie Monster-like and I wanna cram cookies, among other things, down my throat at lightning fast speeds. I went over my points by 5 or 6 but I did get in 30 minutes on my recumbant bike. Yay!

Oh. I went to McDonalds today. And I ordered and iced tea. Unsweetened. I mean, that's kind of like blaspheme too, isn't it? It seemed sacrilegious. Who goes to McDonalds and doesn't get a monster order of fries with a gigantic Coke? Psh. Me, that's who. These days anyway...

Monday, January 12, 2009

Week 2

It's the start of week two. Sometimes I look at the big picture and see how much I really have to lose and it becomes very discouraging. But other times, I see the light at the end of the tunnel and remember why I'm doing this. When you're battling not only losing weight, but an addiction to food a week seems like an eternity. Going into my second week I feel pretty good about this still. Before I started this time I really had a nice long talk with myself. I keep visualizing all my goals and all my rewards. I want to go out for my 30th birthday party and look good and feel good and not be embarrassed. I want to travel and not have to worry if I'm going to fit in the airplane seats. I want to live life to it's fullest and not be held back. It's a struggle, day to day to day, but in the end, it'll be worth it. I'm sure of it.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

1st Weigh In

So today was my official first weigh-in. I lost 6.8 pounds!! I'm so excited! I hope this momentum and the losses continue. It's so easy to get discouraged.

Moving on...

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Again and again.

It's 2009 and this is my year. I've started this journey too many times to count. I've learned how to do it more times than I'd care to admit. I've lost the same 15-30 lbs three times now, never losing any more than that, only gaining more than I've lost. I've hit 300. I've hit rock bottom. I know it's time. This isn't about looking good anymore, this is about saving me. Please follow me on my journey, keep me encouraged. I know I can do it.